Journey To Love
Saturday, 6 September 2008
Waking Up With Your Senses: A Morning Flow
Topic: Joyful Living

       At night, as I am laying in bed relaxing, I take some time to feel gratitude and appreciation for all that I am blessed with, seen and unseen. I intend to feel peace, and to have a restful and restorative sleep that will bring my physical body back to its true state of health. I imagine awakening in the morning with joy, feeling excited about the upcoming day and all the blessings that are to come from it. If there is any message that I need to hear, it will appear in my dreams, and I will recall it upon waking.

The "tone" is set for the morning. I fall into a deep slumber and then awaken as the sun begins to rise (my kids are early birds!). As I open my eyes, I feel JOY. PEACE. LOVE. Another day to be alive in this body. Another opportunity to love All That Is, beginning with myself. I take a deep breath, opening my lungs to bring in all the oxygen that my body needs in that moment. My body stretches out of its sleepy state, arching and curling, slowly warming up. Before I roll out of bed, I give thanks for this life, appreciating all that I have, and all that I am.

Still slightly dark outside, I go into the bathroom and splash my face with water. For me, this is the most effective way to wake my mind up. Sometimes I take a shower first thing in the morning, which is even more effective, but it just doesn't always happen that way. I try to at least get my face and my hair wet to get that refreshed and rejuvenated feeling. Then I rub a mixture of coconut, lemon, and sandalwood oils in my palms and then on my skin and a tiny bit in my hair. It smells so good, I sometimes go a little overboard with it! This all feels like a delicious ritual and is very satisfying. It's like soul food.

 Moving into the kitchen, and into brighter light, I am now prepared for what action is to come. Ready to dance with the dishes and organize breakfast, I down a big glass of blue solar water, and turn on some feel-good, upbeat music. The kids are usually hungry first thing in the morning, so a quick snack is usually in order while I prepare the "real" meal, even if the real meal is just cereal with cut up fruit! I like to take my time eating (okay, I am actually just starting to really work on this, because for the past three years of parenthood, I have taught myself to swallow sandwiches in olympic time). I want to enjoy my meal and really feel the energy that I put into creating it (even if all I did was pour it into a bowl!) and not be constantly distracted by the noise my boys can make. So, by learning to take the time to anticipate their needs as well as my own, I can help to create a much more peaceful morning flow. And by doing this, I have the time and energy to do what I LOVE. And all of this is triggered by me paying attention to indulging my senses! How wonderful is that?

Once the kids are content playing, I clear clutter from the kitchen that didn't get picked up the evening before. I get all the dishes into the sink. I put away clean dishes from the dish drain, and pull out whatever I need to make breakfast. If any laundry needs to be washed, it gets done then. I start breakfast, and wash what dishes I can here and there. Usually the boys need something by this time, and I try to just multitask and relax into the flow (even if it feels like I'm in the rapids sometimes!). They get into another activity, or they come and "help" me. =) Then we sit down and eat. Sweet relief. All the work put in is transferred back into our bodies to continue the cycle. Tasting the unique flavors put into the meal is something that I enjoy as a part of my creative expression in the art of food. It is fun and very satisfying!

We replenish our bodies with more blue solar water and whatever nutritious drink mix I have concocted for us that day. We drink more water, brush our teeth, and get dressed for the day. It is important to me to wear clothes that feel good. And by this I mean I love the way I look and feel in them. Fabrics that flatter my figure and encourage me to feel beautiful. We all chill out and play for a little while, letting go and just being. Sometimes I putter around doing a quick tidy-up of whatever mess we have created. Sometimes I sit and nurse Kenny for awhile if that is what is needed. When the time feels right, or when inspiration flows, I sit down and "work" (though I can hardly call writing or creating art "work" at all!) at my desk, or wherever is appropriate. Fresh flowers are visible at all times. If they smell beautiful too, that's even better! My desk is top priority in keeping clear of clutter.  I take deep breaths and feel love and joy and peace with each one. Joyfully, I am ready to "work" and play, at the same time. The morning has flowed gracefully. Through the highs and lows of different speeds at which our energies transfer, I remain at peace, with love, and joy, knowing that the whole of our being is completely and continually perfect in every moment.


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 10:18 PM NZT
Friday, 5 September 2008
Wishlist
Topic: Wishlists

So, I am taking a new approach to the upcoming "holiday season" as it is commonly referred to as. It is now September, and I am joyfully planning ahead to give from my heart. I am releasing myself from any and all guilt or "obligations" during this time, and I am just going to do what I can, with love. I really love to personalize gifts for the recipient, but always seemed to procrastinate and then hastily put something together for those I am inspired to give to. I am feeling abundant, and it gives me great satisfaction to share it with others. It brings a universal peace with exponential and unconditional love. I have also taken the initiative to make it easier for those who wish to share something with myself or Every and Kenny, by creating a Universal Wish List, that I will (TRY to) be updating as often as is appropriate. This list is for birthdays, holidays, trades, etc.

And I am totally open to used items, as long as they are in good condition. In fact if you know someone giving away some movies, I'd rather those be passed on to us than someone going out and spending money on something new.

Michelle's Universal Wish List

  Kenny & Every's Universal Wish List

 

Posted by fruitofthewomb at 9:46 PM NZT
Updated: Sunday, 7 September 2008 1:19 AM NZT
Saturday, 30 August 2008
Happy Birthday Every!
Topic: Celebrations

Happy Birthday Every! You are 3 years old and a daily blessing to me! Love you!

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 11:55 PM NZT
I have red cabinets!
Topic: Home

This is the sunrise yesterday morning. Beautiful isn't it? The moon was smiling its last little crescent as well. Today the moon is new, in Leo. Thank goodness for the new moon. And thank goodness for its two week intervals of waxing and waning. I have said this before, but two weeks is a great time period. It is not too long, but just long enough. Anything seems doable in a two week time period (I know someone is reading this thinking, "there are a lot of things that just cannot be done in two weeks" but I am not looking for resistance here, only possibilities!). Just as the last two weeks have been an intense energy shifting for me, with all the decluttering and home detoxing I've been working on, I now feel like it is time to rest and restore myself this weekend in preparation for the energy shift toward the full moon. The next two weeks I see my home totally transforming, myself along with it. I know I need to be careful not to overdo anything, especially if my body is sending me signals that I am doing too much all at once. 
But look! My cabinets are RED!!! I love it so much. I admit, there was a tinge of resistence with this, but I just love it more each day. I want to be in my kitchen. I am inspired to cook things because it feels FUN to be in there. I can't wait until its totally decluttered and we decorate, it will really just come together beautifully. I know what I like when I see it, and thankfully, Amanda has the ability to feel what I like, and is in the perfect detached position to see my home's potential for its character to shine through.   

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 4:05 PM NZT
Sunday, 24 August 2008
The Mothering Tree
Topic: Wise Women

There is a group of women whom I have known and cherished for about 3 years now, since I was pregnant with Every. We met as a "September 2005 due date club" on the MDC discussion forum. As time went on, we created and moved to our own forum, where we have shared the joys and hardships of daily life in the world of motherhood. We call ourselves The Mothering Tree. I believe our bond is so strong because of the sincere love and respect we share with one another. We try our best to be open and free of judgment, and we provide a safe place for each other to find support. It helps that we all have children the same ages, so we can definitely relate on a continual basis! I was among several of us who recently ordered handcarved "tree of life" stone pendants from Creative Art & Soul (found on Etsy). Mine is Carnelian. I chose this stone for its particular healing properties. It is associated with emotional warmth, creativity, individuality, courage, reproduction, rebirth, reincarnation, memory, and past life recall. Is is a stone of protection, especially from anger, fear and jealousy. It is said to calm the mind from fear of death and enforces belief in cycle of birth-death. It is an excellent motivator in matters of business and career choices. It brings daydreamers and absent mindendness to clarity through inspiration, confidence, and action. It works directly with the lower chakras, aiding the reproductive system, the blood, the gallbladder, pancreas, kidneys, and lower back, as well as dispelling any asthma, arthritis, allergies, and colds. This site had great information if you'd like to learn more about Carnelian: http://www.gemstonegifts.com/stones/carnelian.htm 

So to all the mothers of The Mothering Tree, I send you my warmest love. Know that I am always thinking about each of you, and us as a whole. When you are feeling down, I am there in spirit with you, with infinite hugs, an ear that is always listening, and a heart that is always caring. In my darkest moments, you guys were a source of strength and support, free of judgment, full of love and understanding. I find comfort in knowing that even as life takes me by whirlwinds sometimes and I am absent from the forum, I can come back and share anytime. To those who are experiencing deep hardships right now, you are in my prayers daily, and I ask that the universe send you strength and love to move through whatever you must.

To all my TMT Mamas, THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU GUYS!


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 11:09 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 26 August 2008 5:11 PM NZT
Decluttering & More Design Pictures!
Topic: Home

TOTAL REHAUL OF THE HOME!!! This goes in tune with my gradual rehaul of the SELF. As I take loads and loads of clutter and STUFF out of my home to prep for painting, I am being VERY picky about what goes back in. A the moment, I can only cram so many things into the garage until I actually GET RID OF IT...so there is a pile for burning cardboard stuffs and a HUGE pile to be given away or to go to the dump. I am taking out all furniture too that I do not love. Doing this has turned my tiny little studio into an energy flowing spacious room that my kids and I can freely dance around in! I am trying to not put up TOO many progress pictures, just the basics, until it is DONE. Well, until it is at a satisfactory point, LOL. Here are some peaks:

 

 

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 11:05 PM NZT
Friday, 22 August 2008
Painting Progress & Aunti Shell's Circus
Topic: Home

Here are some great photos of the last two days. I've been watching the kids while Amanda and Chris do an AMAZING job. They are truly an awesome team, quite entertaining to watch!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                            


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 7:42 PM NZT
Monday, 18 August 2008
I'm getting ready to paint!
Topic: Home

Just giving a HUGE shoutout THANK YOU to my dear friends Amanda and Chris for volunteering a trade with me, to paint my home!! I am so excited! I have the paint already, and here are the colors and the inspiration:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here is me, excited, in front of the now blank walls:

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 9:17 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 18 August 2008 9:58 PM NZT
Saturday, 9 August 2008
Creative Cooking!
Topic: Food

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I am getting more in depth with cooking! Yay! My boys (mainly Every) seem to have aversions to vegetables, unless they don't know/think it is a vegetable. So I am getting into pureeing, making use of the mini processor my dear friend Amanda gave to me (thank you!). There are several main purees, by color (orange puree, which is sweet potato and carrot, for example). On this particular day I was making the green puree, which is brocolli, leafy greens, and green peas. I put some of the green puree in our fruit smoothie this morning and the boys had no clue. We all loved it. I am just proud of myself that I got them to eat veggies for breakfast!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 5:10 PM NZT
Monday, 28 July 2008
Seasonal Beauty
Topic: Earth and Sky

Here is the big monkey pod tree in the main "yard" about a week ago (left) and today (right). I gave up raking leaves after the first try...it would be a twice a day deal...and many blisters' worth of raking! So late summer is Guam's "fall" =)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beautiful Cloud! I just love the way it is like a giant puff of light and energy, charging forth joyfully through the sky!


Here is my little area I've created outside my door, a "porch" so to speak, lol. I am trying to add lots of plants to create a cozy and earthy feel to what was a very plain frontal view of the house. I would just love love love a canopy of some sort, an overhang, to really give it a homey feel. And also to make it more convenient for me to "enclose" the kids when I want to sit outside but don't want them playing in the driveway.

 

And is this not the most beautiful flower you've ever seen?? It is a Midnight Blossom off of a cactus plant in the back of the house, and here it is at full bloom this evening!

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 11:51 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 29 July 2008 10:14 AM NZT
Friday, 25 July 2008
Gorgeous Altar
Topic: Home

Created this beautiful altar this morning, aren't the flowers just stunning?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 4:38 PM NZT
Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Topic: Earth and Sky

 

 Love EVERYTHING and EVERYONE beginning with YOURSELF.

Moment to moment reconnection

We are all ENERGY. A vibrational dance. I love and respect the earth, the sky, the oceans, and the fires that burn within us all.

............................BE SILENT..............................

All is well. Everyone and everything is perfect. There is a purpose for it all, and everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

Every moment is a new opportunity to start fresh, to live with LOVE.

I am the only one who can save me. No one else can, will, or should. I am the hero I've been waiting for. I am the only one who needs to hear and respond to my cries for help.

We are all family when it comes down to it, and we are better off being friendly toward one another.

We are not higher than anyone or anything else.

When you see with the eyes of god, everyone and everything is perfect, pure, and beautiful. It is only our thoughts that can be imperfect, impure, and ugly. Connecting to the divine can turn the thoughts off. Saying "I LOVE YOU" can connect you to the divine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 10:01 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 8 July 2008 11:37 PM NZT
Garden Update
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is the first fruit of the garden! Yay!


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 9:39 PM NZT
Silly Monkeys
Topic: Family Pictures


 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 3:41 PM NZT
Thursday, 3 July 2008
More Beauty All Around Me
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life

More pictures I took this morning, discovering the simple beauty in everything around me. What a beautiful moment I had! It was as if suddenly, a fog cleared, and I could see the precision of every sillhouette, the energy fields of every flower, the contrast and lively shapes of every single thing around me. We can all see beauty in WHERE WE ARE if we are willing to. You don't need to go anywhere else to find beauty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 12:11 AM NZT
The Flame Trees Are Beginning to Bloom!
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life

Guam has many beautiful flame trees across the island, though there are hardly as many as there used to be years ago. Here is the one in our front yard:

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 12:02 AM NZT
Updated: Thursday, 3 July 2008 12:20 AM NZT
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
The Sausage Tree!
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life

Here is the sausage tree! Lol, ok I don't know what the real name of this tree is, but I call it the sausage tree. It is quite interesting, and beautiful, lol. I don't know what else to say about the sausage tree, but I love calling it the sausage tree! LMAO... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 11:47 PM NZT
Updated: Thursday, 3 July 2008 8:01 AM NZT
Monday, 30 June 2008
We have a baby!

Eggplant that is, LOL. These are the ones Joe planted. I just transplanted a bunch of starts that Robby brought over. He transplanted a bunch of tomato starts too. I will post pictures as soon as I take them, LOL. I am just so happy to see my garden really expanding! I am trying to be careful to let it be a gentle expansion, so I don't get in over my head. I am really enjoying this as yet another outlet for my intense desire for creative expression. Something I also realized while gardening is the power of MINDFUL gardening. I have been trying to become more aware of the way I position myself while gardening, my breathing, my mantras, and just focusing on feeling GOOD. And man does that feel good! I love creating and designing, and digging in the earth to do it is a great combination of my talents. I feel like I can take care of many things just by gardening. Body motion/exercise, breathing, fun time, getting in touch with the earth, art and creative expression, growing my own healthy food, putting more energy in and getting more from it, and of course, my kids have fun all the while, as long as I am willing to be flexible. ;-)

 

 

 


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 12:07 AM NZT
Sunday, 29 June 2008
The Power of a Shower

There is an inherent cleansing effect that we get from water. We all know and experience that. Two thirds of the human body is comprised of water. We drink it, bathe in it, grow food with it, cook and clean, the list goes on.

As I was showering one morning, I felt a familiar transformation. The instant calming yet rejuvenating feeling of CLEAN energy washing over my body. As I did the Ho'oponopono process while showering, I had a deeper realization and appreciation of the importance of water, in all its purposes. I went in feeling crabby, apathetic, sluggish, irritable about having to deal with the rest of the day. It was one of "those" mornings. As I "cleaned" throughout the shower, I felt that lift. Something in my energy shifted. I could visualize (as I usually did anyway, even before I knew about Ho'oponpono) all the "dirt" and "stuff" just effortlessly coming off of me, my body, my soul. Any worry, any drop of stress, washed down the drain. I could really feel the energy of the water filling my being with joy and purity. An innocence. An opportunity to start fresh yet again. I came out feeling lighter. Cleaner. Filled with a white energy of love that forced a smile across my face. One version of a woman went in the shower, another came out. A simple, ordinary, beautiful transformation. I have made it a part of my daily rituals to cleanse at the beginning and end of each day, because of the power it holds to return myself to the true state of love.


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 11:51 PM NZT
Friday, 27 June 2008
Taking 100% Responsibility For My Rage
Topic: Ho'oponopono

Thank you. Thank you for this opportunity to return to my true self. To return to love and remember who I am and why I am here. Once again, the memory of rage has replayed itself. I lost it over Every (almost 3) repeatedly biting Kenny (11mo) yesterday. I remember how I felt when the rage hit. I was already feeling low on energy and needing a break, but couldn't see how to give myself one. Flashes of being hurt by my own older brother when I was younger, or anyone who ever bullied me for that matter, played in my mind. I remember what it felt like, the injustice, and couldn't stand seeing that play out in my home. I felt the mother bear urge to protect the Kenny, since he was so much smaller and more vulnerable. He seemed defenseless to his older brother, and I couldn't bear to see Every take advantage of that. I felt more and more angry and resentful each time he bit him. The first offense, I attempted to calmly separate them, comforting Kenny. Then I suggested that Every might need to let off some steam, because he was getting very "energetic". I then encouraged any good behaviors that followed. Then the second offense ensued. I was beginning to lose it. "Why did you do that?!" I yelled. "Don't you realize how much that hurts? You would not like to be bitten like that! That is not ok and I will not let you hurt him." He was put in time out. I was so angry inside that I couldn't speak to him after that. I was holding a grudge. "How dare he," is what I felt. So much for trying to be gentle with him, because that didn't work! Well, not immediately anyway. This second time around, my energy was quite low, and I could not think clearly with love to execute these appropriate actions anymore. Third offense. I lost it. I spanked him. =( Not very hard, but that doesn't matter, that is just me attempting to defend my error. He was crying and scared. He yelled at me and hit me back. He screamed for a long time, he was very angry. At the time, so was I. Confusion and overwhelm engulfed me. How did we end up at this point? I knew I made a mistake, but I didn't know how to fix it. I just felt like sitting there crying myself. Every fell asleep from exhaustion. I held him, sincerely apologizing, repeating over and over that I love him no matter what and that I am trying to change.

At this point, I was scared. Was he ever going to forgive me? Is he always going to be scared of me now? Will he end up depressed? I knew I needed to take responsibility for this. Although it was very tempting and hard to resist falling into my own depression about it, feeling like a failure as a mother. I began the process of forgiving myself. I had to apologize many many times in my mind and out loud for having done what I did, until I eventually began to feel compassion for myself, and for everyone else. At that time, Every woke up, distressed and what I could only describe as shaky. I knew I must prove myself, no matter how long it would take. I could not expect instant forgiveness. I had to reassure him that I love him and that he is safe with me. It took quite awhile for him to be calm, and me to not be stuck feeling depressed and ashamed.

This morning we awoke from a good, long night of sleep. We were in good spirits. Thank god for a new day with new opportunities for a fresh start! I am eternally grateful for the power of forgiveness and love. Today I am working on staying centered, keeping my energy bank filled by reconnecting with the divine as often as I can, and remembering love. When I am reconnected and in the presence of love, I think clearly, my energy is refilled, and I know exactly how to respond in a way that is perfect for everyone. So far, the boys are playing happily and I am trying my best to be my true self. Thank you!


Posted by fruitofthewomb at 6:44 PM NZT

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