Journey To Love
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Sunday, 22 June 2008
Wise Ways of Women
Topic: Wise Women http://www.wisewaysofwomen.com/forums I love these women, so nice to find like-minded "woo woos" LOL who think of life in a more energy/spiritual aspect.
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 8:58 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:36 PM NZT
The Boys
Topic: Family Pictures
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 8:53 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:38 PM NZT
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Chocolate Cobbler
Topic: Food Can you say YUM????!!! I ate mine with vanilla ice cream and strawberries! You can find the recipe here: (thanks Michelle! another Michelle, lol) http://www.bakeorbreak.com/recipes/2008/06/18/chocolate-cobbler/ It is sooo yummy! I love super chocolatey and super rich things though, so beware, it is devilishly divine. =D 
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 5:33 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:47 PM NZT
Merry Summer Solstice to All!
Topic: Celebrations
To the left is our "Wicker Man" who for us, represents God, and we honor him and his power of the sun by lighting him ablaze on the longest day of the year. We wrote on pieces of paper the things we want to let go of, and put them in the man's center.
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 5:11 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:49 PM NZT
So here I am, petitioning to the divine. So, I am sorry for whatever I have done to create this block, these unwanted energies. Please forgive me. I love you, and know that you love me unconditionally, regardless of how I feel or what situation I have created for myself. I am sorry that I am having a difficult time feeling gratitude this morning, and wanting to be somewhere other than where I am. I am sorry I have not been a respectful mother this morning, and have treated my children in a way that I know is not right. Please forgive me. My intellect and memories have gotten in my way of my experiencing divine love, purity and bliss, and therefor my children have suffered this morning. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I ask for these energies to be transmuted to pure light, so that my children and I can experience love in the way we were always meant to, and the freedom of seeing with the eyes of God, where everything and everyone is perfect. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU!
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 10:05 AM NZT
Updated: Saturday, 21 June 2008 10:20 AM NZT
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life  Round and round the mullberry bush, the monkey chased the weasle! We've been picking berries at least twice a day for about a month now, and they'll be around for the whole summer I'm sure! YUM!
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 9:59 AM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:55 PM NZT
Monday, 16 June 2008
A peak into my space (no, not MySpace!)
Topic: Home Enjoy! I'm so proud of it, and really enjoy being in my space. I just keep getting more inspiration over time to add beauty here or there. Walk in the front door:
The "living room" area
To the left (spot the nudist!)
To the right
Where we do our business LOL
And where we dream:
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 11:12 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:56 PM NZT
Sunday, 15 June 2008
New Painting
Topic: Art by Us Just did this one two days ago, put it up on the wall. I rather enjoy looking at it. Can't wait till the WALL is painted though! LOL.
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 11:38 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:57 PM NZT
The Garden!
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life
Check out the garden! The eggplant, basil and cucumbers are doing great! There are a bunch of flowers on the cukes now, yay! Joe and Every put up the posts to expand the trellises.
Yay for eggplant!
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 11:27 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 23 June 2008 11:59 PM NZT
New Haircut!
Topic: Family Pictures
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 5:17 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:01 AM NZT
Saturday, 31 May 2008
Double Rainbows!
Topic: Earth and Sky What a beautiful double rainbow we saw this morning!
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 3:14 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:48 AM NZT
Garden Progress!
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life Watch it "grow"! (pun intended :) )
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 3:02 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:05 AM NZT
Saturday, 24 May 2008
Topic: Blessings & Prayers Love to the Rubicon and its crew! May she be blessed with safe seafaring this Memorial Day weekend in the Rota Race! (the crew are my father Kenny Pier, Dan Robinson, Mike Seagle, and Yugi Oguma)
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 1:11 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:09 AM NZT
Family Photos!
Topic: Family Pictures
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 10:19 AM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:06 AM NZT
Topic: Beautiful Plant Life
I have been rereading "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and it is a nice reminder of the unique temperaments that each of us individuals have. I suspect that Every may be more of an introvert than an extrovert, and I am still split down the middle in figuring which one I lean towards more. Not sure about little Kenny yet. But it is a great book and gives great practical suggestions on relating to our children in a more peaceful manner. I would recommend it to all families who are curious, regardless of whether their child(ren) are "spirited" or not. I discovered that *I* am spirited and I now have a better understanding of my own temperament and personality style. It helps me to meet my needs and the needs of my children if I am first able to recognize what those needs are!
Our Nature Walk So it stopped raining and we did indeed wander outside for quite some time! I took the camera with me and we got some great shots of our little adventure! This first photo is of a Bird of Paradise flower. Beautiful isn't it?
Another beautiful Bird of Paradise flower
A N A N A S !
Bilimbines, otherwise known as Starfruit. Yum, I love these, used to eat them a lot as a kid and just recently started to enjoy them again!
Achiote, otherwise known as Annato. The seeds inside the little pods are used for dying, or in cooking, like making red rice, a staple in Chamorro cuisine.
Our garden is gradually developing!
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 12:09 AM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:56 AM NZT
Friday, 23 May 2008
Topic: Food
Bon'apetite!
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 11:50 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:57 AM NZT
Sunday, 11 May 2008
Happy Mothers' Day!
Topic: Ho'oponopono
Peace to all who represent motherhood in any form! Lets celebrate together and feel good about this important role we serve. How blessed we are to have such wise teachers (our children) to guide us on our journey through parenthood. To the right is a photo of my belly at the end of Kenny's pregnancy, with Henna art done by my dear friend Amanda. It came out beautiful! I began my day with, "Thank you! For...whatever. Everything!" Another day to love. Ho'oponopono is still working. Constantly saying "I love you", "I'm sorry", "Please forgive me", and "Thank you" WORKS. My days are now filled with more fun and laughter, and less seriousness and planning. I feel kind of silly sometimes, if not just plain crazy, lol! Problems still arise, though I am now beginning to really see how all these things that I'd been perceiving to be "problems" are really opportunities. Opportunities to be free and clear of old memories that we hang on to. Before, these memories and emotions would come up and I'd feel crappy about them, like "WHY am I thinking this stuff??" "WHY do I feel this way??" I'd try to rationalize them and then push them aside, trying to ignore or forget about it. The grudge would still stick to me though. How wonderful to finally know how to set myself and others free of this ICK! To realize that I can ERASE these things! The more I can admit that I am NOT in control, and stop trying to be, the EASIER life feels. My emotions and circumstances that were troubling me have been overridden by love, peace, and joy. It is such a relief! Do any of us realize how much ICK is stuck to us? It dates back through relatives, ancestors, all the way to when we started as just bacteria. Memories... I am totally experiencing what I would describe as a cleanse. When we are stuck, we are just stuck. But we can set ourselves free.
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 7:12 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 12:59 AM NZT
Saturday, 10 May 2008
Ho'oponopono and Parenting
Topic: Ho'oponopono
And then there's a moment. An opportunity. Or as it felt at the time, a "problem." My older son Every decided it was time to blow the candles out (they'd been lit for a few minutes) and I did not like the idea at all. I felt the tension rise within me. Uh oh, this is a familiar feeling. Rage. I felt annoyed first. "Ugh, he's always raining on my parade" is what went through my mind. I was not happy with what I was thinking or feeling. The memory of rage that surfaced within me is NOT the real me. I said "No, we just lit them." Every began to get wild, spitting at the candles and flailing his arms around them. I panicked and gripped his arms, glaring at him, then I made the concious decision to let it go. This was harder than I thought it would be. I was angry that he was resisting. He was angry that *I* was resisting. In the moment I couldn't see past my expectation of what I wanted to happen. I wanted the candles to stay lit, it felt nice. I felt dominated by my son calling the shots and me not liking it. I realized that I do this to him all the time, call the shots whether he likes it or not and expect him to just comply and adapt to my demands. And this "problem" as I perceive it to be is just a memory resurfacing from my past, whether it be last week, last year, ten years ago, 100 years ago, or 1000 years ago. My soul remembers, because it has hung on to this memory. Only love can erase it. And to access love, one must be willing to let down the barriers of anger, resentment, jealousy, greed, fear, shame, and guilt. One must own his or her reactions and take responsibility (not blame) for what has happened. I forced myself to just release his arm and then held my head in my hands, repeating, "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." After about 7 times, I was really FEELING sorry. At first I didn't like saying sorry. It was admitting that I was in error. But then love took over. It wasn't a big deal anymore. I said, "Ok, time to blow out the candles?" Every gleefully shouted "Yes!" We blew out the candles and carried on our merry ways, the memory erased in both of our minds. I cleared it for both of us. Before, I would have remained stuck in my grudge for quite awhile. I've experienced this same feeling of rage with my parents, with other people in my life, relationships with men, children, women, myself. They are just memories replaying from some time in the past that I have not yet let go. But I CAN let go of each of them as they come up. It seems tedious at first, but the rewards are limitless. The freedom is almost indescribable. Overwhelming amounts of love and joy can pour into your heart. I have shocked myself with what I thought was undoable, at least for me. I've heard of other people, like Mother Theresa, but didn't think that *I* could do it to. Peace DOES begin with me. Geeze, was it really that simple? Why was it so hard to let go? I didn't think that I was the problem. I thought that my son was the problem. His behavior. I blamed him for being defiant, when it was just a memory of my own defiance playing in my mind, and I did not like it. It made me angry. But when I took ownership of MY pattern that was showing up, everything changed inside of me. There was a shift. These were MY patterns, not his! The problem really lay in MY reaction to the memory replaying. But I know now that by saying either "I love you," "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," or "Thank you" EVEN IF I DO NOT FEEL IT, the shift happens. I feel it later. Or sometimes immediately. I say it in my head. Or out loud. To the divine. To that which created me. I am NOT in charge, but am constantly finding myself trying to control. At first I felt defeated, but it soon turned into liberation. What freedom to not have to feel the way I was feeling! How horrible and sad is it to look at my child in a moment of a rage memory and feel disgusted with him? How beautiful to just take out the memory tape alltogether just by saying these phrases! To let go, and replace the fear and anger with love and inspiration. So far, this Ho'oponopono method of problem solving has transformed me far more than anything I can remember. I have felt so much inspiration! I mean, I've had inspiration before, but never like this, never so frequent! I am now striving for moment-to-moment inspiration. Life is just that much more beautiful, simpler, and easier! I admit, it IS difficult to get over my ego, my pride, my desire to be right. In the moment, it is hard to stop, be silent, and force myself to utter the words "I love you" through gritted teeth. To love, not fight. To accept with open arms and heart, rather than resist. To be free of these icky feelings that drive us "insane." I just love love love this! Thank you for this awakening I am experiencing. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got lots of "cleaning" to do...
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 11:31 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 1:00 AM NZT
Thanking my pickles
Topic: Ho'oponopono
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 11:17 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 1:01 AM NZT
Topic: Ho'oponopono
A couple minutes after writing that in my journal this morning, there was an earthquake! And I wrote: "Oh my God! There was an earthquake right now. What a vibration! I'd say 7:52am, Guam time, and at least a 4.0 or 4.5. Very interesting. Geeze, if that is not another sign from the universe that I GOT IT, I don't know what is. I heard it and knew it was not an airplane (which fly over our house many times a day). My gut reaction was to drop to the floor, lying on the tile on my belly, ear and heart to the ground. I said "I love you", to the divine, to the ground. *I* was still shaking, heart pounding, almost panicky. I jumped up, trying to confirm that it was indeed an earthquake. I looked at the water in the jug, it was rocking back and forth. I hadn't touched it recently. The plants were vibrating, shaking, jiggling almost, lol. The water in the other vases around the house rocked back and forth. My body seemed to vibrate with fear. I almost instinctively thought of Ho'oponopono again and dropped to the floor, ear and heart on the ground. I dropped my weight, let go, said "I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU" to the ground, the earth, the divine. My body relaxed, a wave of calm enveloped me. I felt relieved. I stood up and looked around. My boys did not even notice a thing, they didn't feel it I guess. The water was still. The plants were still. I was still. Whew! "Thank you!" I said to the earth, to the ground, the divine. I felt eternally grateful that it stopped. I would not let my ego say "I did it." Because I know I did NOT do it. The divine did it, I just happen to witness it. I don't know if it is because I said "I love you" to the ground and I don't care. I am thankful ANYWAY. Maybe the divine was using my physical environment to speak to me, to let me know I am on the right track with this whole love and Ho'oponopono thing. Lol. I don't care, I am thankful and relieved. My life has taken a HUGE, monumental, earth-shaking (pun intended) turn for the better. I FEEL the love. There were opportunities even today, as I write, where ordinarily I would have reacted with resistence. For example, as I write, Every is drawing with a black permanent marker all over the blank booklet I made to write down family traditions of love and inspiration. Ordinarily, I would have been angry, or at LEAST annoyed and disappointed that my book might not get to be used what I INTENDED it to be used for. But I let it go. I said in my mind to Every, to the book, to myself, and most importantly, to the divine, "I LOVE YOU." Suddenly, I felt okay. He can draw in it. What's the harm? Maybe there is a BETTER book to write down family traditions in. Maybe a better opportunity is awaiting that I am not even aware of yet. I might be limiting myself by becoming angry at my son for "ruining" my book, when it is all just part of a series of events to lead me to the REAL outcome that is perfect for ME. And sure enough, as I let it go, he drew for a couple minutes, then put the book and marker down, said "I'm done", and continued on his merry way. No tension. No anger. No resentment. No tantrum. From either of us. I realized that if I had gotten angry at him, that would have been ME throwing a tantrum about not getting my way. I would have been bitching and moaning, causing hurt to BOTH of us, all the while preventing myself from experiencing joy and inspiration. I suddenly had the inspiration of writing about my parenting journey in conjunction with this journey of love. I can SEE all the open opportunities awaiting me if I am just willingly to let go of my expectations of how I think things should be. And thank God for that. =)
Posted by fruitofthewomb
at 11:31 AM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 24 June 2008 1:04 AM NZT
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Summer Solstice 2008! And an interesting one at that, with Mercury just out of retrograde, we just had a full moon two nights ago, Neptune is still in retrograde, etc... Things have been crazy lately, lots of difficult emotions have come up, lots of growth and transformation, and LOTS of letting go. 
It is a symbol of taking our worries and sending them off in the smoke of the fire, for the divine to take care of. We lift ourselves of burdens and weight. I have been feeling more depressed and filled with moments of rage than usual lately, and I hope to see that lift now. Every is slowly but surely, letting go of "Nah Nah" (yes, we've still been nursing!), and Kenny, is letting go of crawling, as he is practically walking now! So we cast a circle around the Wicker Man, thanked the divine and all the 
elements that surround us, and announced what we were letting go of. Every literally kissed Nah Nah goodbye, lol. We "dressed" the Wicker Man and then lit him ablaze. It was a beautiful flame, and both kids were fascinated as usual by the power and wonder of fire. We sat on a blanket eating biscuits and drumming till the flame went out. Totally a last minute celebration, but it was great! Merry Solstice to all! 
Today was one of those days I woke up feeling "BLAH" and didn't really want to go through with the day if you know what I mean. I didn't feel like being a mother, and both kids were on my last nerve. I was basically choosing to be annoyed, irritable, resentful, apathetic, and depressed. I was feeling the "Why me??" for sure. Why do I have to watch both kids everyday? Why don't I get a break? Why don't I have any money? Well, because I have chosen these things I guess. Writing where I know others will be reading allows me to feel a bit more accountable and the answers to my questions seem pretty obvious. Maybe I will choose something different, who knows? Why do I feel such a big block of negative energy regarding money and my life? More importantly, how do I transform that energy? 
See the "breathe" and "smile" signs? I can't wait to paint the walls!! That will come in time though 
Any ideas on colors? I'm really wanting an earthy, light yellow, maybe some beige/brownish with orange tint, maybe some sage/mint green or something...not sure yet. 
I love days like today. The weather is cool, gray, breezy with scattered showers. I am having some "calming" Yogi Tea and some of my homemade carrot-zucchini bread with strawberry jam and butter. Yum! There's nothing like good food, drink, weather, music and company all in one! Hehe, and the company is just my usual crew of myself, Kenny, and Every. Kenny is asleep on my back, Every is watching TV (we are trying to cut way down!), playing with his toys and eating his share of jam and bread. If it stops raining we'll go outside on a nature exploration, since it's nice and overcast. We'll probably hunt for frogs, snails, lizards, spiders, and all the other lovely little creatures Every so dearly loves and is fascinated by. If it doesn't stop, then we will stay indoors and most likely paint and bake cookies or something. I need to make sure I get physical activity into Every's body though, otherwise he (and I) will go caput. 
B
MANGO!!!!
Mmm! Fresh baked bread is the best! This one is a carrot and zucchini "flower" loaf that Every and I made. I'll post the recipe when I get a chance! 
I made amends with a dear friend this morning and man does it feel good. And this is how I did it. At first I was afraid of calling. I was hoping the universe would heal the tension in a way that didn't involve me actually having to face her. Which doesn't make any sense to me now. But as I repeated the phrases "I love you" "thank you" "I'm sorry" and "Please forgive me" I began to actually feel these things. And suddenly I wanted to call her. So I acted on it. I picked up the phone, apologized from the bottom of my heart and asked for her forgiveness for whatever hurt I may have caused her or anyone else. There were tears and of course, she accepted my apology and also expressed gratitude. It felt wonderful. I did not care about being right or wrong anymore, I just wanted peace. I really felt the power of love in friendship. When I let go of my pride and ego, I I was able to take responsibility for having participated in the "problem" and then all the negative energies were released. We were laughing and wishing we were face to face so we could be hugging. And it is true. Only, and ONLY LOVE can release these energies and replace them with inspiration. What a beautiful gift. Thank you to all those in my life who help me to learn about forgiveness. 
Oh yeah, this is nice. What a glorious and triumphant feeling. I write by partial candlelight and my kids are playing in a pile of pillows in the living room. Happily. We are all happy and having a good time! I've got feel good music playing and...
Okay, now I am surely crazy. I picked up the pickle jar I had just taken from and realized the lid wasn't on properly. But the jar stuck anyway, and didn't fall. I felt grateful, and said, "Thank you pickle jar and pickles for not falling!" Hmm...maybe Ho'oponopono really means "To make crazy" rather than "To make right" Lol. I'm kidding. I really love and believe in this process now that I am experiencing it WORKING. I can feel the change within me as I learn to let go of more "stuff" inside me. And as I continue to let go of more stuff, I talk more to my pickles and other things I will not mention, lol. 
"I have found inner peace. And thank goodness! I CAN bring peace to myself, my home and family, my children...This cleaning has shifted me."